which way is up?

Phoebe is getting ready for the 8th grade.  Mentally, not really, but physically she is.  Each year the same issues arise around this time with behavior, and moods.  For the last 7 years, I have tried to figure out what causes these upsets.  She'll have a few good days, and then a terrible day.  A few good, a few bad.  It's so frustrating.  It's frustrating for her, her teachers, and her mom.  But, what is it really?  As I have said, Phoebe is a socially motivated girl.  She wants nothing more than to be with her friends, or even just watch other kids.  She watches, listens and learns.  All the normal things are, and have been done during school.  She has a behavior plan, and the ABC chart, etc. I applaud those who try their best to help her.  

But, what is it really?  (I say that again.)  Is she behaving the way she is, because she wants more interaction with her peers?  Or does she NOT want any interaction with peers, or other CI, or EI classmates?  Is she only really wanting attention from anyone who will give it to her?  Yes, yes and yes.  This is my conclusion.  (and not a very educated one) We build on to her schedule time for peers, and then take them away when her behaviors don't improve.  I have picked her up 3-4 times in the last few weeks due to behavior.  I'm not talking a little behavior.  I'm talking all out meltdown, throw desks over, rip paper, wreck markers, swear and call people fuckers (sorry), and so on. I can't even explain the amount of guilt that I feel when they call me.  Is it my fault?  No.  Do I blame them for calling?  No.  But still there is guilt.  Every mother has it.  

They cleared the room one day.  Does this help, or make it worse?  WHO knows!?  And, I think it depends.  So, what do you do?  What does the mom do?  What does the teacher do?  What does her team do?  I'm putting this one in their hands, and hoping we can come up with something for the end of the school year.  (again)  I'm taking my prilosec (doubled up), and my prozac, and gearing up for this yearly roller coaster ride.  Let's do it.

gulp.